Sometimes life just takes topsy turvy. Jerks you back into reality. Tells you things arent easy. And that you need to get up, and start running again.
The last one year, has been this reality check for me. Yeah.. lost a lot, but then being extremely optimistic, i guess i gained a lot too. And probably the most important thing – is to not to take things that are important to me for granted.
And so, as i woke up today, at a friends house – with an alarm (which was quite unusual, considering for the last 2 months, i have been woken up by my little one jumping on me) – the day looked fresh and bright. And yeah, it wasnt a perfect start though – i ended up banging my car as i exited the parking – but anyhow, pointed the car towards a new city – and drove on.
I write this sitting at my new work place. A hotel which has not opened yet. Where most of the day went by taking of the nasty plastic protective tape from the equipment and somehow i feel this has probably been the happiest day of my life… in a long time. It has been almost 8 months since i even did something this productive. And so, even taking of the plastic tape was such a relief. At least i was doing something. And earning from it 😉
Yes – i did miss a lot of things today also. Most importantly, i miss the time i spent with people that matter. And yes… i miss the people too. Because i know that i probably will not be able to see them or converse with them the way i could over the past few months. I miss my child… and the fact that i have to now stay further away from him. And i know that i will now not be able to give all of the above time like i used to. But on the other hand, i also know that those are the people who are most happy for me ‘starting new’.
I guess, everything can never be perfect, and that is what life is – trying to get perfection out of something that never can be perfect – that continuos struggle to make it perfect. I however have learnt one more thing over the last few months – you can be so much more happier when you accept the above statement. And just stop struggling. Be happy with what you have – of course, dont stop wanting more – but at least enjoy whatever you have.
A lot of things for me are not the way i would want them to be – i dont like the house i have, i dont like living away from my child, i dont like the amount i earn – but i guess this is the process of being born again – you start again with the minimal – and build your way up.
And that is what this post is all about. That I have promised myself, to make sure that i build my way back up. ASAP. Even if that means that i have to give up on things that i love. I have to get out. Break Free. Be born again. Reminds me of a some lines from my favourite song –
‘I knew the moment had arrived,
for killing the past
and coming back to life’
And i dont even know how i will ever pay back my family, and friends (RFM, AN, KD, FK, VK, KH, SB – u know ure names people ;-)) for all that they have done for me – and all the patience…. and all the confidence boosting – without you people – i guess, i wouldve been finished. But now i am back – trying to stand up… and i promise all of you – I will prove to all of you that what all you guys talked to me, will not go waste.
Am And before i get any more senti – ciao… work beckons 😉