Born Again

Sometimes life just takes topsy turvy. Jerks you back into reality. Tells you things arent easy. And that you need to get up, and start running again.
The last one year, has been this reality check for me. Yeah.. lost a lot, but then being extremely optimistic, i guess i gained a lot too. And probably the most important thing – is to not to take things that are important to me for granted.
And so, as i woke up today, at a friends house – with an alarm (which was quite unusual, considering for the last 2 months, i have been woken up by my little one jumping on me) – the day looked fresh and bright. And yeah, it wasnt a perfect start though – i ended up banging my car as i exited the parking – but anyhow, pointed the car towards a new city – and drove on.
I write this sitting at my new work place. A hotel which has not opened yet. Where most of the day went by taking of the nasty plastic protective tape from the equipment and somehow i feel this has probably been the happiest day of my life… in a long time. It has been almost 8 months since i even did something this productive. And so, even taking of the plastic tape was such a relief. At least i was doing something. And earning from it 😉
Yes – i did miss a lot of things today also. Most importantly, i miss the time i spent with people that matter. And yes… i miss the people too. Because i know that i probably will not be able to see them or converse with them the way i could over the past few months. I miss my child… and the fact that i have to now stay further away from him. And i know that i will now not be able to give all of the above time like i used to. But on the other hand, i also know that those are the people who are most happy for me ‘starting new’.
I guess, everything can never be perfect, and that is what life is – trying to get perfection out of something that never can be perfect – that continuos struggle to make it perfect. I however have learnt one more thing over the last few months – you can be so much more happier when you accept the above statement. And just stop struggling. Be happy with what you have – of course, dont stop wanting more – but at least enjoy whatever you have.
A lot of things for me are not the way i would want them to be – i dont like the house i have, i dont like living away from my child, i dont like the amount i earn – but i guess this is the process of being born again – you start again with the minimal – and build your way up.
And that is what this post is all about. That I have promised myself, to make sure that i build my way back up. ASAP. Even if that means that i have to give up on things that i love. I have to get out. Break Free. Be born again. Reminds me of a some lines from my favourite song –

                ‘I knew the moment had arrived,
                for killing the past
                and coming back to life’

And i dont even know how i will ever pay back my family, and friends (RFM, AN, KD, FK, VK, KH, SB – u know ure names people ;-)) for all that they have done for me – and all the patience…. and all the confidence boosting – without you people – i guess, i wouldve been finished. But now i am back – trying to stand up… and i promise all of you – I will prove to all of you that what all you guys talked to me, will not go waste.

Am And before i get any more senti – ciao… work beckons 😉

5 comments for “Born Again

  1. komal
    October 8, 2009 at 8:58 am

    just read this post of yrs!!!!!!!!!!

    i felt so charged up reading it, work for me is also not easy , there r times when i have lots of it, times when m jus sitting doin nothing, i also need to to thank the all mighty to give me what ever i hav atleast….(be happy with what ever u hv alteast)………….!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for reminding me this again in life!!!!!!!

    good luck to u in all yr endevours!!!!!

    komal

  2. kiran
    October 8, 2009 at 10:25 am

    didn’t know you had so much emotion hidden in u…god bless you and keep giving you the strength to go a step higher every time…i am a proud mother – bcoz in you i see a fighting spirit and i know nothing can stop you from making the best of you life henceforth. love u

  3. October 8, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    This is the strength that made you go through everything and rise up. happy for you… we will always stand by you and never let you fall even if we fight and be horrible to each other. we miss you.
    :)
    lots of love

  4. Dad
    October 8, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    I feel so proud that I am your father. The father of a fighter. I will always think of you with so much love and pride. When God blessed us with you, He blessed us real good. You have been a blessing to our lives. You are the finest young man I have known. I am sure you will think of yourself with as much high regard as we think of you. You have always been a caring and loving son and a loving father to our darling and extraordinary grandson. (We really miss him!! the house feels so empty!! He brought so much joy in our lives during the last one month!! May the Almighty bless him with all the best in life). Remember that the good in all humankind can’t help but spill over on another. Keep allowing your goodness to spill over.

    There are many people whose lives pass so easily as if it were a paved path, straight & flat, without any barrier or a wall. One generally envies them. In fact I would not want that your life be like a flat paved path. Rather, you must build the ROAD. A perfect road !

    I am proud that you have never fled from suffering, knowing well that one does not die of suffering, but one becomes stronger. Even if your life is full of stones & boulders, I am sure you will not tire but will walk and rise up the mountain and conquer it, because for that you need a Spirit and not wings. In you, I see that Spirit. Remember, Days of failure…come but then leave…There’s always a silver lining behind a cloud.

    No matter how hard I tried, I could never find the words to tell you how very much I love you and how thankful to God we are, for giving you to us. I remember of a saying “The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet within its reach is Joy”. You will surely get that JOY!!!!. GOD BLESS YOU MY SON.

  5. Its me.....
    October 10, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    I believe in you…….and i know that you can make anything happen…..

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