Its the end of another year – and another decade. The past ten years have been very topsy turvy for me – a lot of good, and a lot of bad – but i have eventually come out smiling. So here it is – the things i learnt in the last ten years. Thru mistakes of mine, or people i have been with –
1. College is fun. I wish i could live those years again. Bunking classes – cutting at dadar chowpatty – falling in love… and then falling again… – the mad rut for a job – the 1 hour studies before the exams – and inspite of all this, life seemed so simple, so carefree!
2. Its always better to start at the bottom. – Yes. i vouch for that. A lot of people end up getting hi-fi jobs, Management positions, straight out of college, lots of money – and at that time, you keep wondering – why you couldnt manage it – specially when u start at the lowest possible position, with a salary which does not even fulfill ure travel to work. But trust me, the experience is worth it. Ten years down the line, when i look back – i might have taken a few more years reaching where i have – but guaranteed, i can beat anyone who started ahead of me (and might still be ahead of me) when it comes to my job. Its important to know the intricacies involved in managing people – and to know that – you need to have lived the life of those people.
3. Marriage is fun – Yes – and it would seem weird coming from me – but marriage is fun (at least till it lasts!) Specially the brouhaha of getting married – the plannings (which always go wrong) – the parties (which generally become damp fibs) – all the relatives getting together (which is fun in a way) – etc. etc. Married life too is a lot of fun. The fights – the arguments – the trying to adjust to each other ways. And yeah, it is a lot of learning too. Specially when you get marriedearly – having barely taken responsibility of your own life.
4. Never get married early. – Make sure u are atleast 28 before you do so – and that you earn enough – and that you have a settled career. I learnt it a little late – so probably will make use of it in my next janam – if sucha a thing actually exists 😉
5. Marriage is not a lot of fun – And its not too. Yeah. Its serious business. You need to be diplomatic – political – responsible – and a lot more at the same time. And its not easy – totally not easy living with someone very different from you – it takes a lot to sustain it – from both the ends.
6. Shit happens – Yes, every now and then – and sometimes all together, Shit happens. Nobody has a perfect life – no concept like such exists. Its how you wipe the shit off – and move on, is what makes your life perfect. And yes, it is important to wipe the shit off – never carry it with you – or else it will smell for the rest of your life.
7. Your own family, IS important – A lot of times, people move out of their homes, and start leading there own lives – and then just forget the people who shouldve been most important to them – they start giving importance to others (which is not exactly wrong – depending on who the others are) – but what goes wrong is that they forget their own family in the process. And they do not realize, that they are leaving behind the people who care for them the most. Its only when point number 6 above happens, and everybody abandons you, is that you realize how important your family is.
8. Having a child is the most amazing sensation – Hard to explain – but to everyone who has become a mother/father – u know what i am talking about. Nothing beats it. And its even more wonderful to see that child grow up – every day. From that teeny little thing in the hospital cot – to a cute little brat who looks at you with so much naughtiness that you cannot help but smile.
9. Living away from your child is the most difficult thing – It is. And for every parent who has to go thru the pain – i understand it. There is nothing worse than to leave your child and say bye to him everytime you get to see him for a little while.
10. Friends are important. – And i am not talking about acquaintances – im talking about those close and few people who know you for what you are – those people in front of whom you do not need to pretend. Because in times of trouble – they are the only people who will stand by you – and give you the right advice – because they are the ones who know you best. – And would never want anything bad to happen to you.
11. You cannot fall in love with people your ‘type’ – and thats because your type of people will always become extremely close friends with you – they will be the ones you can sit in the car and scream out songs with – they will be the ones you can get drunk and talk about your sexual escapades with – they are the ones who you will pull out when they are in shit, and they will do the same to you – and im not being gender specific here. And – falling in love with them will ruin all of the above. So – its best not to – and yeah, for me, it just does not happen – cant – i dont even try – because all of the above becomes so precious that you do not want to lose it for anything.
12. Sometimes Shit happens for good – you may not realize it at that time – but sometimes, shit will happen just to put you back to where you will be happy. I lost my job in the beginning of 2009 – it was not the best of work environments – but still – it gave me my bread and butter – and i have never felt so low in my life – to the point that i just did not know how to control everything that was going wrong with me – but then – i found the job i am currently in – and i love it here. This is my type of a workplace – and i would have never found it, if i had not lost my previous job.
13. Its not where you work, but how you are made to work – You might be working in the biggest and glitziest of organisations – but unless you get ‘your’ kind of workspace, it all worthless – you will just end up being a frustrated machine, wasting time. Its better to work for an organisation who recognises you for you – and not for someone they want you to be – and this implies to relationships also – fall in love with someone who loves you for you – and not someone they want you to be.
14. Money does not lead to happiness – Its how happy you make yourself with the resources you have. You are what you are – dream – but dont let those dreams rule over you. Accept reality. Not everybody is born to be at the right place, at the right time and doing the right thing. And so, it implies that not everybody can be Dhirubhai Ambani or Bill Gates. Work hard in what you do – be the best you can – Earn as much as you can – and be happy with what you have. Yearn for more – but dont let that yearning make you a devil – or a person who cant have a conversation without looking at a profit.
15. Never regret anything – that goes wrong with your life. It all happens for a reason – sometimes to make your life better, sometimes to teach you a lesson, and sometimes just to test you. Might be your mistake, might be someone elses – but do not regret it. Learn from it, and move ahead. Make sure you do not do it wrong again – and even if you do – big shit.
16. Never stop being yourself, for anyone – follow your passions – love your hobbies – because these are the only things that will be with you when you are alone. Dont let go of these for anyone. In other words, do not change – the only thing that this does, is that it frustrates you – and in turn you frustrate everybody else around you.
So thats it. 16 things. Important right? maybe not.. but anyhow have learnt my lessons – have come thru – and that is important. Comment – let me know what you guys have learnt – and if i can think of something else – i will keep adding it up.
luv ya people – and all those who made the last ten years so awesome for me.
HAPPY NEW DECADE!!